Stephen Arnold
- Title: President
- Job Description: Check writer
- Birthplace: Woodstock
- Age: Over the hill
- Education: Institute for Advanced Kazoo
- Interests: Extreme gardening
- Role Model: David Crosby
- Music Interests: Any of the Garage Band demo projects
- Likes: Organic soil, pole-vaulting
- Dislikes: Maracas & Chad's Haircut
Chad Cook
- Title: VP/Creative Director
- Job Description: All things artsy-fartsy
- Birthplace: Killiecrankie, Tasmania
- Age: Considerably, working for SAM
- Education: Toni & Guy Academy
- Interests: Vidal Sassoon Haircuts
- Role Model: Eartha Kitt
- Music Interests: Pigmy Yodeling
- Likes: Susan Lucci shampoo
- Dislikes: Houses with wheels
Whitney Arnold
- Title: Everything 'Vault'
- Job Description: Putting the ship into the bottle
- Birthplace: Farallon Islands
- Age: At least 12
- Education: St. Mary's Butterfly School of Design
- Interests: Carpet sharks, wobbegongs, and chumming
- Role Model: Ryan Seacrest and Gary Coleman
- Music Interests: Fiddle singing and Indian tabla loops
- Likes: Collecting drinking straws and removing the limes from empty Corona bottles
- Dislikes: Loosing his pet rock on a gravel road and photocopies of himself
Noelle Alanis
- Title: Director of Licensing
- Job Description: Getting you to buy things
- Birthplace: Underland
- Age: Only slightly older than Soundgarden
- Education: Mallard Fillmore College of Fluid Dynamics
- Interests: Typing without an 'e'
- Role Model: Matthew Henson ... or was it Jim?
- Music Interests: Capriccio Chamber Music
- Likes: A capella instrumentals
- Dislikes: Hurdy gurdies
Matteo Cehovin
- Title: Director of Licensing
- Job Description: So you're telling me there's a chance?
- Birthplace: Easter Island
- Age: Are you flirting with me right now?
- Education: Campari Academy of Apertifs
- Interests: Competitive Dog Grooming
- Role Model: Tony Soprano
- Music Interests: Catholic Psychedelic Synth Folk
- Likes: Photobombing and Soap Carving
- Dislikes: Vampires and Dark Chocolate
Michael Finnegan
- Title: Director of Licensing
- Job Description: Looking Busy
- Birthplace: Dublin… Kentucky
- Age: A lady never tells
- Education: Oklahoma Catfish Noodling Academy
- Interests: Hunting with a Blindfold
- Role Model: Ellen DeGeneres
- Music Interests: Bro-Country
- Likes: Playing with fire & clog dancing
- Dislikes: Large Pickles
Dave Baumann
- Title: Marketing and Creative Director
- Job Description: Bridging the gap
- Birthplace: The beaten path
- Age: Younger every day
- Education: Would-be Warriors Gladiator School
- Interests: Alien space mummies
- Role Model: The World Leader in Sonic Branding
- Music Interests: Kaja Goo Goo
- Likes: Remote controls and stink bombs
- Dislikes: TSA full body searches
Clay Lorance
- Title: Creative Services
- Job Description: Slicing & Dicing
- Birthplace: Katmandu
- Age: You can't make me!!
- Education: Apprentice to The Laplanders of Norway
- Interests: Phonetic Punctuation & Hats
- Role Model: Victor Borge
- Music Interests: Gregorian Metal & The Carpenters
- Likes: Pizza & Magnetic Propulsion
- Dislikes: Macintosh Computers
Paul West
- Title: Chief Engineer, Senior Button Pusher
- Job Description: Erasing all the good takes
- Birthplace: Phone Booth, Abbey Road
- Age: 48K, 24Bit
- Education: Beale Street
- Interests: Open Wheel Armadillo Racing
- Role Model: The Blue Peanut M&M
- Music Interests: Anything with bagpipe, oboe & slap bass
- Likes: Doing Tequila shots with chipmunks
- Dislikes: Aardvark Drag Racing (NHRAa)
Jesus Garcia
- Title: Creative Services
- Job Description: Pushing knobs & twiddling buttons
- Birthplace: Jot Em Down, TX
- Age: Younger than Clay
- Education: Euphonia University
- Interests: Iona Gaels Futbol
- Role Model: Zha Zha Gabor ... or was it Eva?
- Music Interests: Klangfarbenmelodie
- Likes: Enharmonic intervals
- Dislikes: The phrase 'WWJD'
Jess Bailey
Jess Bailey
(214) 250-5980
- Job Description: Table scraps
- Birthplace: Dawson's Creek
- Age: x √a-bx
- Education: Ozark Choir College
- Interests: Back seat driving
- Role Model: Tom Landry
- Music Interests: Nickelback, Hall & Oates
- Likes: Parsley sage rosemary and thyme recipe
- Dislikes: Zombie Apocalypse
Noah Smith
- Title: Creative Services
- Job Description: Run away and call the police
- Birthplace: Liechtenstein
- Age: I’m perfectly legal, are you?
- Education: Trembling Oaks University
- Interests: Collecting In-Flight Sick Bags
- Role Model: Bart Simpson
- Music Interests: Wizard Rock
- Likes: Eating Enchiladas from the Inside Out
- Dislikes: Box Wine and Lap Dogs
Jana Bailey
- Title: Director of Business Affairs
- Job Description: Columns, Numbers
- Birthplace: Cat Island, Japan
- Age: Is just a number
- Education: Reynauds Culinary and Math Elysium
- Interests: Industrial paper shredders
- Role Model: Bernie Madoff
- Music Interests: DEVO
- Likes: Square pegs
- Dislikes: Round holes
Angie Constantine
- Title: Accounting
- Job Description: Playing with numbers
- Birthplace: Schitt's Creek
- Age: If I tell you, I will have to kill you
- Education: Royal College of Hot Air Ballooning
- Interests: Flavored Water
- Role Model: Kanye West
- Music Interests: Pirate Metal
- Likes: Turkey Meatballs and Fig Newtons
- Dislikes: Onions and Ballroom Dancing
Concetta Halstead-Lord
Concetta Halstead-Lord
- Title: Marketing and Design Director
- Job Description: Coloring By Numbers
- Birthplace: Gotham City
- Age: Do past lives count?
- Education: Hogwarts
- Interests: Poison Ivy and Martinis
- Role Model: Queen Elizabeth
- Music Interests: Vegan Straight Edge
- Likes: Hysterical Laughter and Korean BBQ
- Dislikes: Plate Hangers